I walked away, but it pains me like a stabing in my heart. Tears flow out a constant fall. For my own good, I made this choice. What is love, giving non stop, non in return. Or at least that is what it feels. Trapped within a life I don't want. How to want other than to love what isn't returned. I can't help how I feel, feeling everything the good and bad. Even people around me, I feel all that surrounds me. If I remove all that hurt me, then I am completely alone. Being alone hurts a thousand times more than being surrounded by one's that I love but shadow me with their fear and illusions. Ufos talk so much about not being able to get involved in humans life because of humans having the right of free will, but I have never felt free or like I had free will at all. I always felt like a bird in a cage. I would think if we were finaling able to all know and connect to our family from other planets then we would be able to know where we come from. How can anyone feel whole without connecting to the beings that created us and put their dna in us. It's like our parents abandoned us at birth from the beginning of creation. Even our human parents have not given the love and guidance we need growing up. Because they went through the same trauma. Trauma gets passed on from generation to generation. At what point will there be enough healing to stop the cycle of constant dysfunction and illusion. Everyone needs to feel loved, when one only feels used, where to go. It takes courage to open and heal a heart once it has been broken and closed off, then to have it cut up in pieces again. I feel tired of this constant cycle, for loving so deep that it consumes me to only have it taken away from me. To realize it was but an illusion that any love was returned. Is it so difficult for people to truly love. Fear takes hold of everyone. Love isn't able to flow in a space that houses fear. This world isn't real nor is what is seen in the mind of this reality. When it comes to a point, I am done giving. I Quit and don't care anymore if others don't have their slave anymore. I quit being a slave to a system that isn't fare. I work so hard to help and be what others need from me. For what. Even with more expirence the pay stays the same. I have not found a job that actually pays equal to the amount of energy given to do a perfect job and even with working so fast. Excuses of there being a recession, is no excuse to under value someone's work effort. I actually quit my full time job of 14 months. I have no idea how I will make money or create abundance but it's not worth becoming a slave with little pay.
