soo  i just finished  divine intervention  if you haventy watched it i recommend you do explains alot to me any way i  have had  dificulty  my whole life  with in my self a battle i fight every day  some times the urge to end it all from frustration of evry thing that going on i fiinally opened up to my brother nand mother a little bugt i had told my brother nand i feel  this way still i told him and feel that  i dont belong here i havent any  purpose on this earth like i accidently got realeased  befor e i was fully programed never reallhy good at amy one particular thing  i jujst felt like i keep trying to find that one thing that my inner self goes ahhh you found it this is your calling  i have been a carpenter for thirty years love m,y trade and i was good agt ity but not like i should   be not like i wanted to be and i tried and tried something always always goes  wrong i am repressed from everything that i do in my l;ife and i wonder why qand on top of that i sincerely feel like i wasnt supposed to be here when ik do my form of meditation or relaxation and try to reflect on my  inner self i dont find piece or my path i see caos confusion alot of this that i am hearing and  what people on here are reporting i nsaid twenty plus years ago what was happening and some of it  was in a jokeing manner like us not being alone  in this world i can feel theres a different presence around and some time i wonder if i am seeing it out of the corner of my eye  and hear them ever since and during covid i have had this god awfulll ringing in my ears like chatter or a bunch off cricksets or like the tree frogs in the spring when nthere mateing i cant get it to go away once in awahilke it stops for about idk ten min to an hour and i  can tell because i ofdten sasy to my sel,f wow it shore is quiet in here  and thats cuz that buzz is not in my head  any way thats what i have  had and more in depth this is jujst of the top and quick for conversation but i have delt with tbhis other form or entity with in me thjat i always felt didnt belong there. and  no i do not have any mental issues i a,m quite sane