I have lived most of my 35 years in planet, living in a chaotic addiction to “fight or flight”. I am neurodivergent, and have always been connected to other realms. The overstimulation, engrained into my programming I believe is rooted in this stigmatized “dissociative state” I’m which my “brain” would take control from my “mind”. My brain is emotional feeling and my mind is intellect, to be vague….
I had overcome my “high func autistic” internalized symptoms into 17 yrs of bleeding ulcers and 10-28 weeks of prednisone per year from 12yo. Around 14yo, my “brain” decided internalized ocd and let’s say my “obsessive compulsive” thought process became externalizer… showing adhd symptoms, these compulsions if triggered would become impulsive reactions. For 15 years I lived in fight or flight as a commission based commodity sales rep. I’m 2 years removed as I’ve had issues of addiction(drs gave fullybregillsnle opistes scripted from 12-26yo) my career put me in an unsafe position.
Replied on The Light System: Episode 6
Dec 16 at 06:10 PM
I have left a very very succesful career of networking and riding the “reward system” into a place where the world just turns, I’m not focused on the next sale, and allowed me to take my mental health into my own hands. My whole life has been my “brain” using these tools not of my own intellectual design to get through ANXIETY, and protect me… now these tools of compulsion, involved raising my internal “revs” let’s call them. In turn, my reactions and thought speed go so incredibly fast, I don’t have time or control to focus on triggering memories and was a means to protect my mind. I’m not promoting big pharmacy, BUT my addictions dr prescribed me Effexor and I went on my own to try neuro feedback with my little brother. I wish I could say I tried neuroF unmedicated so I can attest that all the benefits are neuro related but I believe in truth.
So I started them both in the same month, I can proudly say… for two years, my anxiety has digressed to a point of loving myself ❤️