How To Deal With Difficult People

Be Curious, Not Furious

Skillfully engaging in the practice “be curious, not furious” means to feel and act with a sense of greater safety instead of scanning for threats. It means to feel more satisfied instead of focusing on what is lacking or needed.

The Law of Emptiness

Every single thing is empty, including myself. Everything is part of this emptiness; everything is subject to the law of emptiness. Everything is changing and manifesting, including myself, so we are inherently living while letting go.

It’s okay if you’re not okay. You are not weak for feeling lost or tired – you’re human. What matters is that even when you fall apart, there’s something deep inside telling you to try again tomorrow. That’s real strength.

Not all progress is visible, and not all growth is loud. Sometimes the most profound transformation happens in the quietest moments, when you're simply holding on, breathing through, and choosing to hope one more time.

But know this: your resilience is being noticed, and your patience will be rewarded. What feels invisible now is quietly preparing tomorrow’s breakthroughs. Keep going, even when the road feels endless; because every small act of holding on is carrying you closer to the place where everything begins to make sense.

Inspired by the teachings of Rabbi Efrem Goldberg

“And you shall leave a space between each herd” (Genesis 32:17)
“A distance within sight, so as to satisfy the eye of that wicked man” (Rashi).

A person’s eyes serve as the messengers of the mind. Their role is to determine whether, upon seeing something, one connects it immediately to higher understanding—recognizing what Hashem wants from him—and thus lives with the awareness expressed by Yaakov Avinu: “I have everything.”

Such a person lives fully within his own reality, recognizing that whatever happens around him is part of his personal story. He does not fix his eyes on what others have - what kind of family, how much money, or how much someone else is serving Hashem. He looks only at himself, his situation, and understands that his task in this misleading world is uniquely his own.

Esav’s eye is the exact opposite. Even when he has abundant silver and gold, he is never satisfied. Yaakov tried to appease him regarding the blessings by sending a generous gift, and therefore he instructed the messengers to keep visual distance between each herd so Esav would see an abundance and perhaps be calmed.

When they finally met, Esav said, “I have plenty,” expressing pride and self-importance. Everything Esav seeks is simply more - more satisfaction, more indulgence, more fulfillment of desires. His gaze is always hungry.

Our task is to confront the Esav within ourselves and fight him with everything we have. “Yaakov was an ish tam - a wholesome man.” Through simple sincerity—taking Rebbe Nachman’s practical advice of hitbodedut, joy, dancing, prayer, and the straightforward practices he taught—we can overcome that inner Esav and become included in the wholesome path of Yaakov.

May Hashem help us in all we do.

Right before a breakthrough, something predictable happens:

The ego will whisper:

• “What if I fail?”

• “What if I’m not spiritual enough?”

• “What if this doesn’t work?”

• “What if I can’t follow through?”

But I urge you to listen carefully, because your soul whispers something else:

• “What if this is exactly what I’ve been praying for?”

• “What if I am ready?”

• “What if this is my moment?”

Investigate fear at the root, not by fighting it, but by becoming more aware, more present, more connected to God, and more aligned with truth.

If fear has held you back in the past then let this be the moment you choose differently.

Is It Hard to Detach Yourself From Your Past Memories, Especially the Bad Ones? Why?

We need to learn how to relate to the past as something that no longer belongs to us. It is not a force that we must fight with, but it simply needs to be cut off, allowed to fade away like a passing haze. It is an inner conviction, and a quiet determination, that we have no connection with the past.

In short, what was… was. It has already fallen away. It no longer exists.

Our entire work from this point onward is to master the present: to stand firmly in the moment we are in now, not in what was yesterday. The present is where life flows, where change is possible, where the upper force of nature meets us.

When we live fully in the present, the past dissolves on its own.

Based on KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman on October 19, 2025. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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