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date. Now this may sound crazy as hell to you for me to say, but AK, just look at all the thoughts you are investing into this? For me, consider it this way. Inside my head is a mature forrest for when the wind blows the tops of the trees move in sync and on the forrest floor there is endless clear  pathways to walk on a padded forrest floor beneath my feet from the years fallen leaves. Again, for me if I were to put in that forrest these considerations you wrote above would be equilvalent to my forrest floor being riddled with heavy under growth of briars and vines I'd have to cut my way through. 

Of course, a good question would be how to clear your mind of undergrowth? The thing we all must first own up to is that all of us on this journey are people who have availed themselves on helping others. You must adopt the fact, this is one thing that you must put yourself first with and leave it tottally up to others to find their own way. It is only natural for us to want to pull up as  

AK, thanks for sharing this. This a great breakdown for me and others to read that expresses from your perspectives while seeking your own way onto the transformation path. Before reading this I had no concept that anyone attempting to or is going through there own personal transformation would flow for them in this manner. I am in no way insinuating its right or wrong and besides, who am I to determine that for you or anyone anyway, I'm not qualified to do so, nor is any other either. 

The best I can offer up is how it is and has gone for me and if what I write resonates to you, grab onto it, transform that bit of information and make it your own. The second best bit of information are the first thoughts that popped in and back out of my mind as I read what you wrote. 

For me-> I do not think, it just muddles up my mind and slows my progress down, often to a crawl and even with a solution I may have thought up I have found myself more times than not revisiting the same issue at a later

Kristin W Thank you for your heart felt words. I didn't know I was in my wife's account when I wrote the comment. What I just wrote under Clifford Davis may resonate with you. I ran out of space and wrote in the reply section of my comment to finish it. 

Akhi Thanks friend! I just wrote something pretty profound. I didn't realize I was on my wife's account when I wrote the comment. My name is Clifford. I ran out of space and had to finish it in a reply to my comment.

I don't know what happened, I'd type words, but no words would go down, so I'll tell you the rest here. 

She & I just could not communicate. It was awful. I sought understanding and all she sought was to be right and not change a thing. For me, if I'm wrong I want to know it, not not know it, otherwise how can anything ever improve, right? To me it's all about expanding myself, not staying put because its what I'm used to. I can also get used to better and that's what understanding does. Then in hit me like a ton of bricks, "we do not exist in the same dimension". Essentially, her thinking in 2nd dimension-> black/white; here or over there; lets put the box up top or on the floor. You know those cloth shoe holders that can be hung from on closet rod that runs down to the floor, she can't stand them, shoes go on the floor, she says. There's 50 more 2-D examples and hell I'm in an out of 5-D now. Understanding is not possible because for me there is so many more ways to do the same thing.

The most amazing thing happened last night that is quite mind-blowing to say the least. I only bring it up here because what I have to say might very well benefit one or all that read this, it's my hope anyway. 

My marriage was in a stalemate and my wife loaded up her truck, 16' trailer and her 100' Pitbull headed back to her hometown in the next state over. The next 2 days she lived in total hell which turns out to be the best medicine for both of us. This woman is stronger than an Ox, and I admit, she can damn sure whip my ass in a fight, but I can out run her if need be. Anyway, this event brought about the first opportunity to share reciprocating dialog with her since I've known her, but I sure wasn't expecting what's coming up. Oh, I've had plenty cognitions and realizations throughout my life, but I've never a magnitude 10 cognition before. This one was so powerful I think it rearranged the floorplan of my house. Had to of because how else do I explain running into so many walls? 

OMG-> All but two or three of the things this guy tried to get himself feeling better, I did myself!!! I have at least 5 root canals right now! I'm now 70 and had my first root-canal in my 20's. A few years ago, I had two more, but the procedure had changed. Before, my local Dentist did the root canal, but my new modern day Dentist referred me to a specialist. It is my understanding that general Dentist no longer do them at all. A root canal is good money for a Dentist and not a complicated procedure, plus with my 6-children maybe one of them ever had a cavity. Why would Dentist give up such a lucrative and easy to perform  procedure to a specialist?  What do I do about this and where do I go to get this handled.

My truck is fueled-up and ready to go. Say where and when and count me in! My favorite ice-creme is chocolate mint chip, but in this case it's probably best I leave out the mint chips, and I can sleep standing up if need be. Thank you so much for the work you have done!