Why Am I So Hard on Myself?
There’s a voice that shows up quietly… “You should be doing better.”
Not loud—but constant.
I’ve noticed it doesn’t actually help. It just drains.
Research shows that self-compassion—not self-criticism—leads to real growth.
And Torah already models this—Hashem relates to us with rachamim, not pressure.
So this is what we do:
We speak to ourselves the way we would to someone we love.
Not softer because we’re weak— but because that’s what actually helps us grow.
The World Is Clearly In Transition.......
The world is clearly in transition.
What form the next stage will take, none of us knows with total certainty.
But the direction is clear.
Ultimately, we are moving toward a world of Heaven on Earth -
a new relationship with the Creator, a full embodied revelation of the soul, and a life where the deepest truth is no longer hidden, but shows up in the most wondrous and abundant ways.
But transition can be far from easy.
Especially at the level many of us are feeling it now.
This transition is not likely to get better before its done - because what we are living through is not just another “challenging time.”
It is a cosmic birth.
And each of us, as a cell in the body of humanity, has to experience this cosmic birth in our own unique, personal, and very real ways.
And, regarding that - I am noticing something very interesting right now.
Among many of the most thoughtful, spiritually sensitive, purpose-driven people, there is a growing movement toward less.
Less input. Less information. Less need to prove. Less allegiance to other people’s standards and beliefs. Less performing. Less living under the burden of endless ‘shoulds.’ Less forcing, pushing, striving, and trying harder.
True, a lot of people are still running on that hamster wheel.
But some are beginning to drop off.
For many of those, the inner feeling is: “I don’t know exactly what’s next. But I know it isn’t this. I’m not doing this anymore.”
If you feel this way, welcome to the in-between. This experience is NOT laziness or failure. It’s transition.
And transition is a sign of the times.
This era of struggle and striving, of endlessly earning your right to exist, was never meant to last forever.
It is not our birthright.
It’s an evolutionary bootcamp that humanity is becoming ready to graduate from now.
That means that we are all somewhere in the transition - that space of in-between.
The question is: how do you thrive in the gap?
How do you navigate this vast cosmic transition without abandoning yourself, , burning out, or forcing yourself back into old patterns that no longer fit?
Here are five powerful ways to begin.
1. Notice where you are still operating from your identity’s survival program.
For most of us, this program is still the default. It pushes us, entices us, and scares us into endless proving, performing, producing, fixing, or striving, all in the fruitless attempt to finally earn the right to BE.
Mystical Torah says that 50% of any real healing is understanding the nature of the problem.
So the first step is simply to notice.
Then, ask yourself:
Where am I still trying to prove that I am enough?
Where am I pushing from fear instead of moving from truth?
Where am I hiding because I don’t yet know what comes next?
Where am I giving more than I actually have?
And most important:
What would it look and feel like if I didn’t have to live from that program anymore?
The answer may feel strange at first.
It may even feel threatening to the identity that has learned how to survive this way.
But beneath that fear, there is always another way that is deeply nourishing for the soul.
Transformation doesn't begin with forcing a change before you’re ready. That’s the old way.
It starts by beginning seeing the deeper truth.
2. Give your deepest soul desires room to speak.
This does not come from your left brain.
Your soul desires don’t reveal themselves in the quick, logical answers – the ones shaped by money, fear, resources, past failures, uncertainty, or what other people might think.
Set those aside for now.
Ask yourself:
If nothing were in the way – not fear, not money, not even capacity - what would I truly, deeply want to do, become, create, experience, heal or achieve?
What would that look like in my life?
What would it feel like in my body?
How would my mornings change?
How would my relationships shift?
How would I move through my day?
What old habits, beliefs and fears might I let go of?
What new experiences might I invite into my personal world?
Don’t rush this.
Let new space open around the question.
My suggestion here is to make a date with your journal over the next few days. Sit somewhere pleasant if you can. Make a cup of tea, pour a glass of wine, put on soft music, or do whatever helps your inner world open enough to speak - from deeper than your usual thinking mind.
3. Ask your soul what to tell you something true - that you don’t yet fully see.
Close your eyes and ask your deeper self:
What is true? What am I being called to see now? What is the next edge waiting for me? What do I need to know?
Ask these questions several times a day, and listen as deeply as you can.
Again, the answer will not come from your left brain. That holds what you’ve learned from the past.
These questions are about the future. They are meant to open new doorways.
Sometimes you’ll get one sentence… one word… or even one image.
Sometimes nothing comes immediately, but something shifts later in the day.
The point is not to force an answer.
The point is to begin relating to your own soul as the living source of wisdom that it is.
It will be your best, most trustworthy advisor as we move through the in-between into the unknown new.
4. Explore a new relationship with the Creator.
Many of us feel, consciously or unconsciously, that we are always being judged… always behind… always in deficit.
It feels like we have to earn our right to exist, rest, receive, or be loved.
There is a reason why our relationship with God, life and ourselves developed that way.
But what if that is not the truth any more?
What if God no longer wants a relationship with you based on pressure, fear, endless inadequacy and striving to overcome?
As this cosmic birth continues, we are being invited into a new kind of relationship with our Source – a divine partnership that is based on unconditional, passionate, supportive union and love.
Obviously, this is a big transition and most of us are not yet fully there.
But again, it starts with consciousness. And your soul already knows.
So ask it
What relationship does God really want with me?
What kind of relationship would bring out the best, and most truly powerful, in me?
What would it feel like to partner with Divine Will from love and closeness, instead of separation, judgment and fear?
What if I am no longer here to fix myself and prove my worth, but to reveal the deeper levels of my soul?
Let the question soften something in you. You do not have to manufacture faith that you don’t yet have.
Just allow for the possibility of something new.
5. Look for the deeper story.
In the ordinary course of human life as we know it, things feel fragmented and jumbled. Like endless competing demands. Unfinished projects. Relationships that need more attention than you have. Old dreams and new longings that have yet to be fulfilled. Patterns, questions and breakdowns we thought we had outgrown, rising again.
But what if fragmentation is not the real truth?
What if you are looking at the back of the tapestry of your life – the chaotic knots, threads, loose ends, and colors that don’t seem to belong together – while from a higher, deeper place, a magnificent picture is being woven?
Ask yourself:
If everything in my life - every longing, every breakdown, every transformation, every delay, every hidden desire, every moment of new clarity or power is part of the revelation of my true self in a transformed world, what story might be in the process of being revealed?
You may not see the full picture yet. Most of us don’t.
But you can start by connecting to the deeper truth: that your life is not random, your struggles are not meaningless, and your in-between state is not empty.
Something far more real and powerful is being born.
The more you listen, the more you begin to feel the shape of it.
And that’s when the real co-creation begins.
With love,
Shifra
P.S. If this speaks to where you are right now, I’d love to hear what part of the in-between you’re navigating.
By Tzvi Freeman
None of us can claim to have attained enlightenment as long as there is another who has not.
No one is liberated until we are all free.
Ultimate truth is an unlimited light
—and if it is unlimited,
how could it shine in one person’s realm
and not in another’s?
Maamar V’Attah Tetzaveh 5781
How Does Spirituality Benefit a Person?
When we attain spirituality, we attain eternity and perfection, the purpose of our lives.
Reaching such a state requires developing positive human connections. We then discover true equality, security, happiness, confidence and friendship.
When we start the spiritual journey, we can find ourselves overcoming problems such as depression, loneliness, anxiety, stress, environmental problems, and we gain the tools to solve problems in the family and society in general.
Even if we manage to live the best materialistic lives possible—making a lot of money, buying whatever we want and making ourselves as comfortable as we can—then our lives will still end within certain limits, whether in 70, 80, 90 or even 100 years, but they will end.
The spiritual journey, however, is an invitation to achieve fulfillment via the happiest, safest and most balanced way of life, through which we come to feel our next life—giving birth to the perception and sensation of a whole new reality in the process.
We are never lonely on the spiritual path. We experience how spirituality is for everyone together. While the path has its ascents and descents, we feel a kind of intoxication when we rise spiritually, and we then start attaining the next spiritual degree.
What is the next spiritual degree? It is a state where everyone feels as a single whole. It is not a feeling where we each feel our tiny worlds and individual lives.
We are each like cells in a massive organism. In our corporeal lives, detached from spirituality, we only feel the tiny life of the cell. But when we rise to the next spiritual degree, we feel like parts of a single common organism, and we feel the life of that entire organism. Such a life is eternal and perfect because it is congruent with the trajectory of bestowal and love, nature’s very own qualities.
Attaining spirituality is a process of connecting together the broken parts of the big global organism we are parts of into one great whole by inviting nature’s force of love and bestowal as an adhesive between our connections.
We then experience the life of the whole, an organism that exists forever, sustained by the eternal qualities of love and bestowal. It is called “the soul,” and there is one soul for all.
People say, “I can’t change the world.”
We say—stand up anyway. Stand up for your rights. Stand up for animal rights, because they are sentient too.
And we just showed the world something powerful:
When people come together for a cause, change does happen.
We went to war for those dogs—not with violence, but with our voices, our presence, and our refusal to stay silent. And the world saw it. Millions witnessed not only the suffering of innocent animals, but also the way we were treated for standing up.
And something shifted.
People started calling. Speaking out. Praying. Sharing.
From all over the world, voices rose saying, “I didn’t know this was happening.”
That’s what awareness does—it opens eyes, it sparks truth, and it creates change.
We still have many more animals to save.
But this… this is a beginning.
Hindsight Often Reveals The Hidden Blessings In Our Struggles
Have you ever looked back on a challenging time and realized it was exactly what you needed to grow? Hindsight often reveals the hidden blessings in our struggles. But what if we could harness that clarity in the present moment?
By cultivating certainty that every experience guides us toward our highest good, we can transform hindsight into foresight. This perspective allows us to see setbacks not as obstacles but as opportunities in disguise.
While it's natural to feel discomfort during tough times, embracing the belief that "everything happens for a reason" can illuminate our path forward. Miracles become visible when we shine the light of positive perspective on our experiences.
This week, let's practice nurturing this certainty. When faced with challenges, remind yourself that the universe conspires in your favor, leading you toward growth and fulfillment.
Why Does Everything Feel So Personal?
BS'D
Do you ever notice how one small comment can stay with you all day?
It’s strange… we know it’s not everything, and yet—it lingers.
There are moments I catch myself replaying something simple, and I have to gently pull myself back.
Psychology calls this negativity bias—the brain holds onto what feels threatening.
But Torah teaches something deeper—dan l’kaf zechut. Not everything is against you.
So this is what I try:
I pause and ask, “Is this actually true—or just loud?”
That question softens everything.
Orit E. Riter
To love another means to be their mirror when they’ve forgotten their own beauty.
Inspired by the teachings of the Maor VaShamesh, Rabbi Klonimus Kalman Epstein (1753-1823)
Do Social Media Platforms Give People a False Sense of Connection?
Social media and online networks did not emerge by chance. They are a direct result of the development of human desire. As our will to receive pleasure continues to grow, it pushes us to connect more and more with others. This is why we now find ourselves in a reality where everyone is virtually connected, often with hundreds, thousands, or even more contacts, while in reality we know only a handful of them more deeply.
This situation reflects a deeper inner need that has not yet found its optimal form. We are searching for connection, but we do not yet know how to realize it correctly. The platforms exist, but the content of the connection remains superficial. People exchange words, images, and information, but they do not experience real closeness or fulfillment.
If we were to approach this correctly, the purpose of such networks would be completely different. Instead of casual communication, they could become a means to build genuine human connection. The first step would be to create an atmosphere where people feel that others genuinely wish them well. We should feel that we enter a space where others are interested in our well-being, where there is sincerity, openness, and mutual care.
In such an environment, the discussion would naturally deepen. People would begin to share not just information, but feelings. They would speak honestly, not hiding behind roles or pretenses. Over time, those who are not ready for such sincerity would simply leave, and a new type of network would form, based on trust and authenticity.
Within this kind of connection, we start to feel something new. It is not the fulfillment we receive from material items, but a sense of warmth, confidence, and belonging that comes from mutual consideration. This feeling cannot be obtained in any other way. It arises only through a genuinely considerate, supportive, and encouraging connection between people.
Therefore, social networks can serve as a powerful tool, but only if they are used properly. Their real purpose is not entertainment or information exchange, but preparation for a deeper form of connection. Humanity is entering a stage where it must become integral, meaning fully interconnected and interdependent, just like the rest of nature.
Today, we are not aligned with this integral system. Our egoistic nature makes us act only for our own benefit, while the system itself requires mutual consideration. This mismatch is what creates the vast intensification of problems we see in all areas of life, from family and education to economics and ecology.
The solution is to learn how to connect correctly. This is what is called integral education. It teaches how to relate to others in a way that matches the interconnected nature of reality. Through simple exercises, such as group discussions and workshops, we begin to feel that there is a special force within positive human connection.
This force is not imaginary. It is a real phenomenon that becomes revealed when people try to unite above their egoistic and divisive drives. At a certain point, we begin to sense that within this connection is a deeper “something,” like a hidden doorway into a new perception of reality.
As we continue to develop this connection, we begin to feel that we are no longer limited by our individual perspectives. Instead, we experience a reality where the boundaries between people begin to dissolve. This does not mean losing ourselves, but instead gaining an additional sense, a higher perception that lets us understand the system of life.
In this state, we begin to view reality as a single interconnected whole. We understand how everything operates, how it is connected, and where it is headed. This gives us a sense of control, not in an egoistic sense, but as participation in a harmonious system where all parts align.
The younger generation, which is most active on social media, is especially sensitive to this need. They are searching for meaning, a higher purpose, and something beyond the empty forms of communication that currently dominate these platforms. This is why they often feel confused, unfulfilled, and drawn to various forms of escape.
If social media were used to introduce integral education, it could provide them with exactly what they are searching for. It would offer a real connection, a sense of purpose, and access to a deeper level of reality.
Social networks are only a transitional stage, a tool that can help us shift from external and superficial connections to internal meaningful ones. If we use them correctly, they can become a gateway to a new level of human development, where people become connected as a single system. Only through such connection will we be able to overcome the myriad problems we face and build a harmonious, peaceful, and unified world.
Based on “Social Media & Social Networks, Part 2 of 2 | Jtimes with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.” Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
To love another means to be their mirror when they’ve forgotten their own beauty.
Inspired by the teachings of the Maor VaShamesh, Rabbi Klonimus Kalman Epstein (1753-1823)